Take what you need and be on your way.

Hello Blog! :)

I'm already on my semester break! hurrah. My first year in uni has almost come to an end and i'm.. relieved.

Gosh I hate eating junk foods. More like, I hate the after effect of eating junk foods. I don't know if anybody else feels the way I feel or but i certainly don't like the way it did to my whole err.. body. I just felt grossed out. Ergh. I kept brushing my teeth 4, 5 times just to get it off.

The gross feeling actually made me eat non-stop even if i know damn well that I am not hungry. And over-eating makes me feel even more awful. I must learn to control these junk foods man, i do. Pretty sure it's some chemical thing they put on those junk foods that made people can't stop eating.

But other than that I have nothing else to rant because i feel pretty good nowadays because I choose to be. Everyone has the options to not feel crappy, to feel hurt, to feel broken every single day. You just gotta learn how to say, "stop. I'm not going to feel this way another day. I don't want to live another day feeling like this because that's not what Jesus die for me." Yeah, you may fail the next day and your daily mantra doesn't have any effect on you but one day you'll finally mean it and truly put your words into real thoughts. :)

All hail to Joyce Meyer preach that I listened to yesterday that really got into me. It's called 'Let Go and Learn to Enjoy". Feel free to Youtube it up, it is worth watching.

One thing that I feel like mentioning is that I feel really blessed to have my mom with me and she's the one person that I love most in this entire world. That's one the things i thank for every day. I'm not a crazy religious person but I'm honestly just thankful for what I have. At times I forget how blessed I am and I gotta remind myself so I could stop acting like a brat.

It also got me thinking. I'm a 20 years old girl and I need a change. I can't stay trap with the same emotions, same problems, same thinking forever! When I was 16 till right before now, every year, there's always always always someone who turned me upside down. I can recall it very well as I wrote their name on my diary every time i have the chance to. At the end of the year, every page i turn has got the person's name.

Basically, I either got myself crazy in love in one moment then helplessly trying to get over someone the next moment. Howwwwwwww pathetic is that you tell me?! I don't wanna be like this till i'm lik 30???? that's insane! I don't even want to deal with myself if that's all i can be.

But no more that. I'm happy the way it is right now and I pray to God I will not meet someone who will only bound to screw my bliss. I'll take exxxxxxxxtra caution in each step i take and trust in God.

if i had my way..

Hi. :) Today is the start of revision week which means semester 2 of Uni is going to end pretty soon. I'm quite worried of the holidays actually. :S I'm not really looking forward to it just because i have no idea what will i do in this long holiday. If only i could get a part time job. Hmm will see. I will honestly go insane with all those free time.

Time pass quickly this time. :/ It feels like yesterday (not literally) i was just starting my semester 2 and i was "devastated" at that time and now it's revision time then comes holiday then comes third semester! my 2nd year! yay. just 3 more years to go :) good good good.

Recently i've been doing ok. been busy with uni and tons of projects and group work. Not tons but it's definitely time consuming but i do enjoy the late meeting where i had to stay in uni once until 10. It's fine cause it wasn't boring.

Oh yes! i got a kitten that i named Tom. :)

Cryyyyyyy!:O milkgulp gulp gulp *happy*

Bring me there.

Was just telling Wai how my name was Elina all these while till I reached primary 6, finally i come to term with my real name and that is non other than Elena. It's actually quite a big difference. Elina.. Elena..

No matter what I just couldn't delete off this blog. Although there's embarrassing post with tons of shit photos of me in archives. I think it's that fact that makes me keep this blog. I cringe looking back and I regret that i blog a lot less these days because i'm busy? Or maybe it is just cause i'm not really that comfortable in blogging anymore but anyhow, i still try to. I wanna keep blogging because after few years, i wanna look back the state i am right now and be able to laugh with whatever shits been going through me right now that i still can't comprehend but i soon will; time will tell.

Because there's always things that you can't understand but only THEN you will understand. You'll feel so stupid before and you wish you knew how to deal with the situation more cleverly.
But anyway! Past is past and whatever it is will also past right away . Shely's quote "this too will pass". lol i'm such a rip off.

Even right now, i'm not exactly the happiest girl on earth because there are pangs of pain that i could still feel at the end of the day or thought of at random times be it being in the car, listening to songs that reminded me of IT and so much more. I've tried so many ways to get over it, believe me and I'm still trying.

I did thought that replacing IT to something better would definitely make me happier but then again i thought, it wouldn't be fair. So i'm not going to move an inch to desperately try to be happy. Don't get me wrong, I AM happy. Generally, I am happy. Only there are things that i hope i can get rid feeling about. :)

ok after blogging all this i'm just gonna say, break up sucks. it sucks big time. I think that's all i'm trying to say after saying all those junk of words.

HEHehehehe?

I am currently reading Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I've just read less than a quarter and i already love it very much! Been reading it the whole time during lectures. Oh my, lectures this semester is just soooo DULL! But my lecturer for Business Statistic is HILARIOUS. The way he laughs cracks the whole crowds. hahaha! He laughs like, "hehehehehehe!!" So cute! LOL.

Krystal is leaving today and i shall meet her in the airport in about a hour and a half? Oh i will miss her very much! :D But it's not going to be long till she come back for semester break woot woot.

And update about me, i'm alright today and i feel less of a messed up person. :) and I think i am quite better off now that i'm not attached. It's all coming back to me now all the reasons why it didn't work out in the first place but i was too stubborn. I am stubbornly in love. hahaha and i still miss the person but it is what it is right? I know that i am going to be just fine. Yup

laters

just because i'm hurting doesn't mean i'm hurt.

Day.... 4? I'm quite better.

Yesterday was the start of semester 2 for me and hmm.. no comment. The schedule is really messed up. But! Yesterday was lots of fun with krys.... in the beginning. Not till the end of the day then i feel :C


I think Chua is kaput by hearing me say "Life is a saaaaaaaaaaaaad zebra" the whole time haha and.. yup bye!

First morning waking up realizing that something has left me for good. Oh waw, what a feeling. I opened my eyes at 6 am ( i don't even know why i woke up to be honest. ) and my thoughts immediately shots up to that. Not really a good start of a morning that i wish to woken up to but I will be better in each every waking day.

despite everything..

Had a good day today despite everything. :) Thankful for that! krys came over, went out, met up with derek and finally I'm back home. i'm beat. Despite everything, i will have good night sleep. Despite everything, i've still got great friends. Therefore despite everything, I stand on my ground thankful for every bit of my life. Life may not be perfect and dear ones went away even when you truly care for. It's unfair. Life is quite unfair but it's all a test. All I gotta do is to appreciate everything that I've got and know that everything happens for a reason. there's a reason why someone didn't make it in your life. yeah, i heard that quote. hands up for that!

no more you

Life is fun with Krystal around. :) Hate the fact she's gonna leave to UK soon.

I love God with sooooooooooo much Love i could burst. I know why i don't feel the major OUCH when I hit the ground is because I been praying to God to guide my heart to not feel so torn apart. I felt every kind of heartbreak and every kind of pain and every way of disappoint it's like I'm gonna burst. But this time, God protects me because I ask that if my relationship doesn't work out, i don't wanna feel utterly shit. And thanks to almighty Him, i'm okay. For once in my life, i don't feel like my world has come crashing down on me just because one boy left me.

I'm not saying I'm not at all crushed about this but i'm okay. I got my dignity and my personal priority straight and that's what matter. I deserve some respect for that don't I.

Photos below are from Yesterday. Watched dinner from schmuck! SOOOO GOOOD!! you guys HAVE to watch it. and krys and i challenged each other to each finish one whole pizza.